From the Toolbox: Trust and Intimacy Explained

Core Competency #3: Establishing Trust & Intimacy with the Client
Creating a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust.

What leads you to trust a complete stranger? What would he or she have to say to you to make you feel at ease and open to sharing your deepest secrets?

As a coach, establishing an underlying sense of trust with your clients will empower you to be the very best coach you can be. An intimate coach-client relationship paves the way for open, unguarded communication and swift, continuous client growth.

There are four fundamentals to trust-building that will help you develop trust with your clients with greater ease.

1. Clarity of Process

Chances are, you wouldn’t accept a job offer without understanding the expectations of your employer. Similarly, you wouldn’t hire a painter without discussing the fine details and the desired end result. When clients are exploring coaching with you, it’s important to be transparent about your process. Describe what your coaching sessions will look like and what you typically ask of your clients. Explain your approach and the reasons why it is effective. Describe the results that your clients have achieved when working with you, and refer potential clients to past clients who can share their experiences. Trust grows organically when your clients are confident that they are in good hands, backed by a tested coaching process that works.

Questions for Reflection: 
What journey do you take your clients through from start to finish? What successes have your clients enjoyed as a result of working with you?

2. Proof of Integrity 
The next step to establishing trust and intimacy is demonstrating personal integrity and respect for your clients. When you show up for coaching sessions on time; actively listen without judgement; provide ongoing, genuine support and follow through on the commitments you make, you prove to your clients that you are dedicated to their success. A big part of this is keeping the promises that you make. For example, if you say you will introduce your client to someone in your network, make sure to do so right away. Your timeliness in the delivery of your coaching services is crucial to maintaining your integrity. With this foundation in place, clients will allow themselves to be vulnerable, knowing that they are valued and respected in your eyes.

Questions for Reflection: 
How do you show clients that you walk the talk? When you make promises to your clients, are you effectively following through?

3. Frequency of Contact

Maintaining consistent contact with your clients will accelerate their progression and build the foundation for trust more quickly. Think about it: If you want to get in shape, working out two or three times a week is more effective than weekly or biweekly workouts. Likewise, communicating with your clients between coaching sessions can help them stay on track and see faster results in their lives. You can interact with clients through email or use an online journaling platform to send out prompts and questions. Engaging in meaningful dialogue between sessions will give you more insight into your clients’ thinking and beliefs, and it will ensure there is no loss of momentum. The high frequency of contact will pave the way for a trusting relationship.

Questions for Reflection:
How do you connect with your clients between coaching sessions? What do you do to catch clients quickly after they fall?

4. Depth of Conversation 

A fourth element of a trust-based coaching relationship is thorough, intimate and ongoing dialogue. Until you are well-informed about your clients, you will not be able to facilitate their movement to a different place. Exploring the good, the bad and the ugly will help clients identify the thinking patterns and beliefs that interfere with their success. This is when transformational coaching can truly take place. You will prove your trustworthiness when you dig deep with clients; ask about their goals, regrets, struggles and past experiences; and then handle their sensitive information with care. When clients feel comfortable exposing themselves in an unguarded way, your coaching will be most impactful.

Questions for Reflection: 
Do you have a means to access the thoughts and beliefs of your clients? How do you help your clients feel safe to share intimate details about their lives?

It’s worth examining the way you nurture trust and intimacy in your coaching business—you will find that these principles are precursors to powerful coaching.