Coaching as an Introvert

I remember a couple of years ago, being an introvert was uncool. Admitting to being closer to introversion on the spectrum had an element of shame to it. The tide changed when research on the power of introverts came out, and leading figures, such as Susan Cain, brought the topic to the forefront.

I think being an introvert was one of the reasons why I was attracted to becoming a professional coach. From a young age, I had very strong observation and listening skills, which I honed through the years by not being the loudest voice in the room and spending more one-on-one time with people.

One of the hallmarks of an introvert is their source of energy: simply put, introverts generate energy from being by themselves or being in small groups of people with interesting discussions that stimulate their minds—and without a lot of small talk.

For me, being an introvert and a coach is a good match. However, I still need to manage my energy when running a coaching practice. In three areas of my practice, I have found ways to navigate my energy to the best of my ability and to the best use of my clients.

Marketing

The marketing landscape has changed a lot in the last decade. Having to build your business on networking events, elevator pitches and speaking engagements can be very draining energy-wise. Fortunately, if you are savvy with the internet (or willing to ask for help), you can minimize your “extroverted” marketing efforts in favor of more introvert-friendly marketing.

Getting in front of people is still important, but I know that after a three-hour networking event, I am extremely tired. So, I shift my focus to more online marketing (think: writing, social media engagement, etc.) and referrals. I commit to attending one networking event a month, but through experimenting, I’ve found the best energy balance for me and its effectiveness.

Different Clients

I have found that my energy levels differ with clients. According to research by Jennifer Grimes,  when there is dissonance in energy, it creates exhaustion. For example, a client who is engaged and participating in their process naturally lifts and generates energy. A client who is struggling to sit with the powerful questions and blocks with “I don’t know” responses, can make the process feel stunted and can require more energy to move it forward.  As a coach, it is important to be in charge of our own energy (and not be merely reacting to or mirroring our clients’ energy). However, acknowledging the energy level in a conversation is a powerful observation and catalyst for both coach and client.

Furthermore, managing the time of sessions is a key protection measure. While some clients are more talkative than others, it takes practice to end the session within the contracted time frame, while not cutting the client short amid an insight they are forming. Contract with the client upfront about how to handle such a situation.

Scheduling of Clients and Location

Personally, my coaching limit for one-to-one sessions is three per day (at most). Figuring out your ideal number is also something that takes trial and error. Perhaps choose a number of sessions and try out to see how you feel. My coaching trainer advised us that for every three weeks of coaching, you need to take one week off from coaching.

I choose my coaching locations wisely. I prefer doing it in the office or via Skype. When a client wants to do it in a coffee shop, I find it distracting and difficult to focus—mainly due to overstimulation of the senses. As an alternative, I offer coaching while walking in nature with the client. It adds a different flavor to the session, and studies have shown that reflective walking aids with creative thinking.

Some weeks I find I managed my energy well, and other times, I am exhausted by Friday evening. If I can manage my energy optimally 80 percent of the time, then I’m happy. I suggest looking at your daily schedule and habits  and asking yourself what you can do to be more aware of your energy and what you can do to optimize your energy spent.

Coaching as an introvert is not harder than being an extroverted coach. It just requires different choices and creative thinking.